Pride - Christine Thomas

Pride

There are many models of the “Stages of Coming Out,” but my personal favorite is a six-step model consisting of the following:

1. Identity Confusion
2. Identity Comparison
3. Identity Tolerance
4. Identity Acceptance
5. Identity Pride
6. Identity Synthesis

To sum it up, when a person realizes that he or she (to simplify my typing, let’s just go with “he”) is somehow different (for our purposes, we’ll just use the blanket term “gay”), there is a psychological process that he goes through in coming to terms with this new realization. It starts with confusion: he’s not quite sure why he’s attracted to other guys and tries to deny or fight against these feelings. Next, he begins to compare himself to others, noticing that he is different and trying to figure out what exactly a gay person is comprised of. In the tolerance stage, he begins to admit to himself that maybe he could be gay, and in the acceptance stage, he starts to come out to others. We can refer to the pride stage as the “I’m here, I’m queer” stage. This level is all rainbows and gay paraphernalia all the time. When reaching the level of synthesis, he begins to see himself as a person who happens to be gay, rather than a person who lives and breathes nothing but homosexuality and gay culture.

While Identity Synthesis is the ideal level in coming to terms with one’s sexuality, the stage that seems to bring the LGBT community together is #5: Identity Pride. For one, the word “synthesis” just isn’t as easy to rhyme, say, or tweak as the word “pride.” For another, I think it takes individuals who at least keep a toe in the Identity Pride stage to really make a difference when it comes to LGBT equality. If we were going to make this model a scale, I’d be at about 5.5—halfway between Pride and Synthesis. Most of the time, I don’t go around thinking or talking about being bisexual. Contrary to popular belief, I’ve got a life outside of LGBT activism that doesn’t involve my sexuality whatsoever. I’m pretty well synthesized, if I do say so myself. Really, though, since such a huge part of my life consists of the fight for equal rights, my sexual preference (and the preferences of my friends and activist colleagues) is a consistent topic of conversation. Therefore, I still wiggle around a bit with Identity Pride.

If you haven’t noticed, pride is a really big deal in the LGBT community. It’s important to not only accept our sexuality, not only to not be ashamed of it, but to announce it loud and proud just to make sure we’re grabbing everyone’s attention. I like to think of pride as more than an excuse to wear lots of loud crazy rainbow accessories… pride is more of a tool in the battle for equality. Think about it. If the LGBT community was guaranteed 100% equal rights and no discrimination, would we have any need to scream and shout about our sexuality? No. We’d be considered (insert gasp here) normal members of society, and would have no need to go any further than accepting and understanding who we are. As it is, however, we face all sorts of hate crimes and the legal inability to marry and denial of employment and housing and… you get the picture. Therefore, we have to show “the man” that we are proud of being members of the LGBT community and that we do not want to change to fit into society’s pre-determined mold of who is and is not worthy of equal rights due to issues of sexual preference. In this way, we use pride to help us achieve our ends.

I hope you’ve enjoyed my rambling on the subject of pride. This was all really very train of thought and I’m just glad you people seem to care enough to read about my random LGBT musings. Thanks a bunch and have a great week. :D